ah, the power of christmas

4 christmas dinners down, and only one to go.
Spent the day at families. By families i mean my moms, his dad's followed by my grandparents. My parents got me some shooters and shot glasses, as well as several shirts and some other stuff, most importantly, a giant foreman grill. His dad gave me bath stuff and some dumb t shirt i'll never wear and some candles. Grandma's house was exciting as always. Good eats, fun times with my crazy uncle. Normally my grandma is a stickler on not drinking, etc, but this year she bought me a checkers set that you play with shotglasses, since she knew i collected them. She also told my uncle that I collected them, so he hooked me up with a "jager gift collection" including a good sized bottle of jager and two shot glasses. Decided to run to the gas station to pick up some cigarettes for my dad, saw the red bull and thought, why not? worst case scenario, g'ma says NO WAY...
Well, crazy uncle started making bombs.. I had a couple, little brother had one, He had one, cousin amber had one and even my dad sipped some outta the bottle, since he's never tried it. All in all, productive day. Ended up w/ $100 cash plus lots of really cool stuff i never would have bought myself but loved to have.
I even got a chance to bond with my cousin amber during the dinner, when we took off to the gas station, we started talking about our addiction to prescription drugs used as recreational ones. Everyone thinks that i'm on meds for depression, which, technically i am depressed, adn the meds do help when taken on a regular basis... but i really save them so when i want to get high, i will take a few of them at a time and then go drinking. Sometimes it produces a great high, other times, i feel like i'm going to die. Haven't taken any in a few days, but that doesn't mean it's not coming up. Life's not all it's cracked up to be.
haven't talked to guy #2 since friday night, before i od'd on some "script med, alcohol and allergy medicine. yesterday i was unable to talk on the phone (or even move a single body part) as a result of the meds. I spent most of the day feelin' like absolute shit and wishing to die, the other half was wondering if the other guy in my life was actually planning on doing the one thing that i was wishing on myself.
Why i put myself in these positions, I'll never know.
Alas, i must head to bed, and consider the whole shopping situation. I would LOVE to have new clothes and fun stuff, so i guess we'll hafta see how it works.
adios-
cas